I felt so incredibly helpless at the time. Toys for the kids, movies, or an iTunes gift card — anything that will give Mom or Dad a break for a minute — will be much appreciated. Peter took me out to dinner. So try to find ways to get him out of his cocoon by getting him out of the house. You never know how soon your friend might be —even for a mere rebound. Help with pick-ups and playdates. Their children will likely be the most vocal about their opinion of their parents decision.
This is a good time to read a book about some aspect of divorce, or talk to someone who has expertise in the field. As I'm in the middle of a myself, though, I find the people who say nothing at all are the ones I will always remember. Help your friend see that there is some security in consistency at least for a while. The biggest key to helping your friend, or any loved one, through a difficult divorce is to just be there for your friend, and focus on your friend. Over the next six to eight weeks my husband and I would learn more about domestic law than we ever wanted to know and we would each grow in our understanding of what it really means to be a friend in need. Resist the Temptation to Tear Down Their Ex. Being there and listening is the greatest thing you can do as her friend during this time.
Dating, even when I met someone I actually liked, felt nearly futile. Being there for your friend at this time will be significant and appreciated. When I did get the rare invite, showing up as a recently uncoupled woman at a table full of married friends felt not unlike walking into a bathhouse as a leper. When parents are divorcing, children can feel like their world is turned upside down. Your grand kids will, too. The funny thing was, the last time she'd seen us was two summers before, when! Some people think that the best way to get over a heartbreak is to jump right into another relationship to push out the pain. Also remind them that the divorce is a lesson they have learned which will help them move forward and find what they really want.
So in her Christian community, the gossip spread. That lasted for a year or two, then things started to change, and the fairy tale was coming to an end. There is always be pain and sadness when a marriage ends, but in all likelihood, it had become a foreseeable outcome for the couple. But I never considered, until I went through it, how radically the fabric of my social life would be altered as well. If you're not local, a place like offers gift cards and has locations all over the place or search Yelp for a trusted local provider. Make plans to meet at the grocery store, or at the mall to go window shopping, each taking your own transportation.
She always covered, made it right, put him first, then the kids and the house. It would be a big help if you could visit or be with your friend on these days. One of the most painful experiences a father can endure is divorce. My best support was a friend in California that I could call at 3 am since it was midnight there! Keep longstanding holiday traditions, but be willing to adapt as necessary. In his book Growing Through Divorce, Jim Smoke writes: In a society that has a pill or a prescription for almost any human ill, very little is being done to help the person struggling through the hurricane of divorce. Go for a run, watch a movie, learn a new skill. To create this article, volunteer authors worked to edit and improve it over time.
Remind her that she has a story and life outside of her marriage. Otherwise, she will not have the money and end up victimized. So consciously avoid giving direct advice. Avoid giving direct opinions and advice; whenever you are tempted to do so, check yourself. Ask what details you can share, and what your friend would prefer to keep private. They may not go through any transition period whatsoever at living life on their own.
Offer to take the kids when your friend has to travel for work or family obligations. Divorcing people have never been known for their emotional stability. Going out to a movie theater, for dinner, or even just going out for a cup of coffee was something your friend has possibly never done on their own. Be ready to see emotional reactions. It is difficult to know what to say to someone in this most challenging situation. But, just as it came is as quick as it went when I quickly realized she was projecting her own story onto me and never left her unhappy marriage to find her happiness.
Everyone loves knowing all the dirty details of what happened when a marriage falls apart. Your divorcing friend needs to eat. Find a favorite activity of his and enjoy it with him. Be sure to check out all posts by and subscribe via or so you don't miss a thing! When I opened the door my best friend, Alexa, fell into a crumpled heap at my feet. Taking your friend out for a drink once in a while is awesome. While divorce is certainly a death, there is new life around the corner if she looks for it. They just need someone who can sit with them, have a glass of wine and share tell them it will be okay.
And everyone tells you to find an attorney but attorneys are in business to make money as well so they don't necessarily have my family's best interest at heart either. Listen and acknowledge the feeling and stop talking. Listen with empathy, and forget 90% of what you hear. Help a Friend Through a Divorce. Don't have all the answers, but rather, always be praying and seeking the Lord's heart on how to pull them through. Their support meant the world to me.