For example, Mary comes home from an exhausting day. The walls of resentment begin to melt, and love comes back to life. And since that day men and women have been in conflict. Though from different worlds, they revelled in their differences. Because he is handling his problems on his own, a Martian rarely talks about his problems unless he needs expert advice. He does not realize that by finding someone who needs him, he can shake off his depression and be motivated again. When Mary now comes home tired and exhausted their conversations are quite different.
Just as women are afraid of receiving, men are afraid of giving. She may, however, frustrate her mate partner-unless he understands that she just needs to talk about it and then she will feet better. He had discovered the Venusians. I thank my oldest brother, David, for understanding my feelings and admiring my words. When a woman is overwhelmed she finds relief through talking in great detail about her various problems. The Martians were very motivated by the possibility of making a difference on Venus. If a woman is really upset a man assumes she is blaming him.
See if you can recognize why he might feel controlled. When the Venusians were ready to receive, the Martians were ready to give. You will learn the secrets for encouraging a man to give more and discover in various ways the power of being brief, direct, and using the correct wording. Behind the success of this book a vast experience of counseling of people has been driven by Gray. One day, however, she happened to say that she was so happy being with him. I just can't get the attention I need.
Before getting a divorce, however, they attended my weekend relationship seminar. Just as a man who is stuck in the cave needs little problems to distract him, a woman who doesn't feel heard will need to talk about other problems that are less immediate to feel relief. It is easy to communicate with the opposite sex if we are aware of their behavior and reactions. Would you give me a hug and tell me how special I am to you? She needs to feel she is not alone. The magic of love is lost.
Instead of blaming a man for giving less, a woman can accept and forgive her partner's perfections, especially when he disappoints her, trust that he wants to give more when he doesn't offer his support, and encourage him to give more by appreciating what he does give and continuing to ask for his support. They had intuitively known that this day would come. When you explain our differences, my husband understands. With this new awareness you will be better equipped to support your partner as well as get the support you need at difficult and stressful times. Then one day everything changed.
Other problems and responsibilities fade into the background. When a woman is troubled, she loves her partner to express concern for her, but does not want to be told that the problem is a simple one to solve because of the implicit dismissal of her concerns about the issue. Before Susan could be motivated to work on their relationship, she needed to be heard and felt that Jim validated her feelings: this was the first step. Men consider apologies to be admissions of guilt; women view apologies as expressions of compassion. Although their love saved their marriage, they would have divorced if they hadn't gained a deeper understanding of the opposite sex.
He releases his mind from trying to solve his own problems by solving the problems of his favorite team. It is best to allow a man the freedom to do things in a way and at a time that works for him. I would love to do something really nurturing for myself before I have to be responsible again. Instead he doesn't talk about his problems, and she feels he is ignoring her. They have developed this ability through centuries of anticipating the needs of others. When a woman tries to improve a man. When the Venusians became depressed, to feel better they formed circles and began talking with one another about their problems.
By becoming successful and powerful they finally realized that they were good enough and that they could succeed in giving. To improve relations between the sexes it is necessary to create an understanding of our differences that raises self-esteem and personal dignity while inspiring mutual trust, personal responsibility, increased cooperation, and greater love. If she feels she is not being understood, her awareness may expand even further, and she may become upset about more problems. When you remember that men are from Mars and women are from Venus, everything can be explained. I haven't slept in days.
We are loving each other again. A Martian feels good when he can solve his problems on his own in his cave. Instead of calling me at the office, she asked one of my brothers, who was visiting, to purchase more. I misinterpreted the cause of her distress and thought she was blaming me. From just one glimpse 31 his life had new meaning.
Men are very touchy about this, because the issue of competence is so very important to them. As he watched the Venusians, for the first time in his life he began to care about someone other than himself. Men often quickly suspend giving when feeling pleased about having done something; women may only suspend giving when feeling displeased with their partners for doing nothing. When he has found a solution, he feels much better and comes out of his cave. These two differences can be resolved by first understanding in greater detail how men and women cope with stress. Men love to prove their worth through the things they do, but they generally wait to be asked, and take a long time to learn to offer their services unsolicited. They were comforted that other couples had 6 experienced the same patterns of relating.